I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize