So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
