hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
