He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
