You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
