He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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