Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
