Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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