somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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