Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
