well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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