I want to stick my p in your. b.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Damn victory sex feels great
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