piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
