So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
