I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dicks are not precious.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
