He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
