Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
