so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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