You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
