I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
