apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
P.S. I can't hear my feet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
