My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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