She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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