You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
