im about as happy as oj after his trial
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
