mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize