I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
