I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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