So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
