I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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