I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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