youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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