That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
