Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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