i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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