Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
