Where is the hickey?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
