The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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