dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
