my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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