I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
