awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
