corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize