I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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