I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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