Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
