Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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