My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
