Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize