party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
