Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How's work?
Spinning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
