wanna go halves on a baby?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
