i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just found puke in my bra..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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