so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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