Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
wow bdsm is so cute
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
