Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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