The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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