So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
