dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
