you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
