everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
