id be glad to
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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