new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
